I wonder if my readers are wondering why such a title when it’s supposed to be Father’s Day. Well it’s our sons who grow and become fathers. That’s why I am celebrating sons, the potential fathers today. My son, your son,my brother! That bouncing baby boy whose arrival into this world made his parents smile shine bright during the solar eclipse, that same boy whose first cry brought immense satisfaction to his parents, yes that cutie is now my headache.
I can only imagine the joy of pregnancy, the pains and changes associated with it, but you know what they say, when a woman’s pregnancy comes to an end, and a new person’s life begins, it is a time of unimaginable joy. All the pains and troubles are forgotten. Talk of his first steps, his first words which parents are usually fighting over if he will say Mum or dad first, or is it when he is losing his teeth and he creates a motorway in his mouth🤣, babies are just cute.
Fast forward, 12 years later it’s as if cuteness has been replaced with stubbornness in their dictionary. You keep hoping and praying that your son will change. But everyday feels like your dose of hope and prayer is not enough. Today, parents are asking you to help them understand your world. They want to know if you wake up one day as a teenager thinking you are on a different planet, where the norm becomes getting into fights, where tramadol becomes holy water for cleansing your souls, or where you can impregnate young girls even when you cannot afford to take care of yourselves? On this unknown planet, is schooling a taboo and your fees paid become compensation to the gods of your pocket? Maybe the definition of robbery on this planet is “hey bro, I think you have something I don’t have so I’m transferring ownership. Why does doing all these wrong things feel so normal to you?
We know our parents will always have our backs. They will treat our wounds when we get beaten up ( as if they sent us on a boxing match). They will bail us when we get jailed and they will take our children in when we can’t afford taking care of them. They will hold our hands with tears and give her some words of encouragement when things seem to be failing. Our stubborn brothers, why don’t you come back to earth and enjoy this love? Sons, you gotta reciprocate the love. This is in no way insinuating that girls cannot be stubborn. Fortunately it’s Father’s Day so the focus is on our handsome sons. One day you too will become a father. You wouldn’t want the showers of headache falling on you. With climate change, who knows yours will be a hurricane and not showers. Being a father is not easy. You will have to be available and responsible for your children. The responsible fathers who are making it work, we are proud of you. No son should grow up without a father figure. Have your boy boy moments with your sons and enjoy fatherhood.
Remember there’s nothing like a perfect family, but together we can find and share our love and happiness. Thank you for Reading.
Depending on the tone you use, this question may sound rude or simply a way of asking if you understand yourself. In this case both ways go. I’m asking how well you know yourself. Knowing others is wisdom but knowing yourself is enlightenment. I’m also asking you who the hell you think you are to perpetuate evil and act like an angel who just landed from heaven.
I thought I was patient……. turns out my patience is a time bomb ready to go off to cause destruction. Yeah, my little sister won’t let me help with her homeworks anymore because she said I was impatient. My doctor told me I was a strong girl and it got into my head. My close friends think I’m strong too but honestly I am sure of counting my ABC than affirming that I am strong. I sometimes imagine weird but possible tragedies. I would sometimes imagine being left at the altar on my wedding day and how I would react. How I would react if a swarm of bees entered my dress in public. What I would do if I found boxes of money that are not mine. That’s how blessed we’re as humans to be able to imagine ourselves in hypothetical situations and contemplate on how we would react in such situations. But what happens when we are faced with the realities?
Life is full of ups and downs. Do you accept the sweet moments and reject the bitter ones? Sometimes we become so moody, releasing and spreading negative energy. We ask “why me?”- Who should it be? Accepting the setbacks and working on them is what makes life worth living. Think about this; “the desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience and paradoxically the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience, and the denial of failure is failure”. ( Subtle Art of not Giving a f_ck, The Mark Manson)
A lot of people think the world owes them something and act as if they’re entitled to everything beautiful in life. Well, the world owes nobody nothing. So when you don’t study for an exam and you get a D, just sit your ass down and study next time. Don’t go chasing lecturers for favours.
Who the hell are you to keep a boy or girl for selfish reasons? You embezzle public, family or club funds, you maltreat other people’s children, you see your political party doing harm than good yet you praise them, you disrespect your parents, forgetting they brought you into this world. Who the hell do you think you are to make life uncomfortable for others? We all want a better world. So be the change you want to see. Treat people like the humans they are, with respect. Be happy and embrace life with positive energy. It’s okay for things to suck sometimes. You may end reading this with the question: “who_am I” or an answer: “I know who I am”. Which one will it be?
“Many black families spend all of their time trying to fix the problems of the past. That is the curse of being black and poor, and it is a curse that follows you from generation to generation. My mother calls it “the black tax.” Because the generations who came before you have been pillaged, rather than being free to use your skills and education to move forward, you lose everything just trying to bring everyone behind you back up to zero.” Trevor Noah, Born a Crime.
Trevor calls it “black tax”, I call it generational tax” because if you don’t break it, the cycle may never end. A lot of first borns, born into poor families are paying this generational tax by virtue of being the first born or sometimes a younger sibling who is financially capable is paying this generational tax. Some drop out of school to work to cater for their siblings. Others manage to go to school but they are only entitled to 1/10th of their salary. They become parents at an early age and do not have a life of their own.
I once saw a Facebook post blessing and encouraging all first borns. Beneath it was a comment which read ” Apuu, who said they are all good, you will call them and they will never answer your call”. Do we even think about their needs too, or all we know is asking them for money? They try to save something for themselves but once a coin hits their accounts, there comes a message, grandma has swallowed a cutlass and needs money for surgery. We all have blood flowing through our veins, they too get tired from all these responsibilities. I am not in any way suggesting that first borns should not support their families. All I’m saying is that you all cannot depend on them. We all know what a dog full of blood sucking ticks looks like after a while. Siblings should be considerate and frugal in their spendings. They also need to work harder to reduce the burdens on the breadwinner of the family.
To our first borns, why don’t you set up a business for them, from which they can cater for themselves rather than giving them money all the time?Develop a holy anger against poverty. Make sure your children do not pay this generational tax, they never asked to be born.
We know you are making a lot of sacrifices for us, thanks so much. Don’t cry about this burden. “Life is full of pain, let this pain sharpen you, but don’t hold on to it.”
I got my inspiration from reading Trevor Noah’s Born a Crime. Truly readers tell no tales, make reading a habit. Don’t forget to leave a comment after reading.* Wink* Bridget Delali
” I said I love you just because I wanted to sleep with you”. “You look beautiful, I want to have sex with you. How much for a night?” A lady complained about how sad she felt in the first situation and another how insulted she felt in the second and the responses inspired me to write this article. Before you say “you claim you want to know the truth yet when you are told the truth you complain about it”, let me remind you that you can tell your truth without disrespecting women.
Society has played a role in painting women as objects of sex. We see it in our music videos, in our boxing arena etc. Recently a prophet said apart from child bearing, women have no other uses. Even if this prophet was abandoned as a child, hasn’t he come across any wonderful soul of a woman? I personally have a lot of great women in my life. People who have helped shaped the wonderful person I’m becoming. It’s time we see women for their worth.
The saying behind every successful man lies a great woman is not a mere saying. Sex is just one of the packages among the lot. Why reduce a woman to a mere sexual object? Wearing a mini skirt is fashion and does not warrant an insult for a man hungry for sex. Before you justify your truth, how would you feel if a lady spent your hard earned money and later tells you that ” I never loved you, you were a help me finish my course”? I am sure when men are reduced to money making machines, they also feel insulted.
A woman is industrious, she is a fortune. A woman is helpmate, you need her and so you got to respect her. Look beyond sexual gratification and share the blessings of a woman. To my wonderful women, I believe we can influence the men in our lives. Do not settle for anything. Read wide and grow in strength. To our lovely men, learn to tell your truth without disrespecting us. We could be your mothers, your sisters, your best friends, or even your daughters. Remember, in a woman lies the maker and unmaker of kings, not just a sexual object to be desired.
To all those playing motherly roles, I say ayeekoo, may God keep strengthening you.